I come from a young priest, a plea for help to any suggestions on a very personal fundraising letter to be sent to a group of active supporters. In response to enclose, give some suggestions and reimposed a bit 'letter and of course if you share, you want to add, crticare, remove, suggest, help welcome it. A later (VM)

Dear Valerio,

I am attaching the draft letter to send to benefactors of the House of Formation for the purchase of the new medium. There earthen lot to your opinion. Personally I have the following questions: -

• is best made payable to each letter on a personal or a collective image? - direct style is correct, or should be treated better captatio benevolentiae initial?
  
• in that part of the letter is better to put the technical data of the bank account, which abruptly stops the music of feeling charitable?

Waiting to meet you, I wish you good work hello

THIS AND 'THE LETTER PROPOSAL
Dear friends, your generosity over the years has given many young men to come to the priesthood, and at the same time she introduced increasingly at the heart of our mission experience. It is primarily the expression of a living community, grateful for the gift received and eager to tell the world.
It is precisely in the concreteness of everyday life there you have been faithful companions and discreet. With the same concreteness want then you need this one: the purchase of a van for the workshop to replace the previous half now inutilizzabile.La best offer that has been made on a nine seats Nissan Primastar, 2.5 TDI, the value of € 24,000.
Aware of the sacrifice which we ask, ask assistance for these expenses, according to the possibilities.
In the Lord reward you all for your love.
You can make a contribution on behalf cc xxxxxx
Causal Van CdF
The Rector

My considerations:

Matthew Dear Don,

I am here:

1. I read your letter and I know the tone, the level of friendship loyalty, nor know how many letters are you going to send (an account is to send another 200 is to send 2000), but the letter if it is consistent with the type report (hot) you towards your supporters, I feel really good and full of warmth.
2. is much better made payable ngo a personal letter, if possible, are few and added a final thought for each hand (eg a note, or just love the signature on all letters). If the address is handwritten, it's better if you wrote to your computer.
3. the style is right, maybe you can speigare better than people, is that medium. It 's too generic phrase (we need). You should never forget that the fund raising is a matter of 3 p. Or of people (donors) who decide to donate to the People (Don Matteo) to help other people (this is not clear in your letter, but of course you can imagine why not specify: type - as you know every Sunday we go to around doing catechism-guy - or seminarians must go to Rome Tweety day to take lessons and then -)
4. the end is fine because the bank
5. Do not forget the importance of a good PS. Eventually after signing a post with a maturity ps dlla donation (we need it before, because our seminarians begin ... because the schools' our seminarians begin the catechism ... etc) so do a sort of "gentle pressure" that may help to persuade the most reluctant of course or those who return.

Let me know your comments and see you soon!

VM

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