I come from a young priest a call for help for some advice on a very personal fundraising letter to send to a group of active supporters. In response which I enclose, give some suggestions and reimposed a little 'point and obviously if you share, you want to add, crticare, remove, suggest, help, so be it. A after (VM)

Dear Valerio,

I am attaching the draft letter to be sent to the benefactors of the House of Formation for the purchase of the new medium. We'd keep a lot to your own opinion. Personally I have the following questions: -

• is best made ​​payable to each letter on a personal or a collective image? - is that correct straightforward style, or should be treated better captatio benevolentiae start?
  
• what part of the letter is better to put the technical data of the bank account, which breaks the music of feeling charitable?

Happy to see you, I wish you good work hello

THIS IS 'THE PROPOSAL LETTER
Dear friends, in these years your generosity has given many young men to come to the priesthood, and at the same time there has ever introduced to the heart of our mission experience. It is primarily an expression of a living community, grateful for the gift received and eager to communicate to the world.
It is precisely in the concreteness of everyday life that we have been faithful and discreet companions. With the same concrete so you want to present a necessity: the purchase of a van for the seminar which replaces the previous half now inutilizzabile.La best offer that was made about a Nissan Primastar nine seats, 2.5 TDI, worth € 24,000.
Aware of the sacrifice which we ask, ask for help dealing with this spending, according to her possibilities.
To all of you the Lord reward you for your charity.
You can make a contribution on behalf cc xxxxxx
Causal Van CdF
The rector

My considerations:

Matthew Dear Don,

Here I am:

1. I read your letter and do NOT know the tone, the level of friendship loyalty, nor know the number of letters that you intend to send (a thing to another is mandarne mandarne 200 2000), but IF the letter is consistent with the type ratio (heat) that you owe your supporters, I feel really good and full of warmth.
2. is far better OGN payable on a personal letter, possibly if they are few, adding a final thought for each hand (such as a note, or just love the signature of all the letters). If the address is handwritten, it's better if you wrote to your computer.
3. the style is correct, perhaps we can better speigare PEOPLE, is that medium. It 's too general phrase (we need). We must never forget that fund raising is a matter of three P. That the People (donors) who decide to donate to the People (Don Matteo) to help other people (this is not clear in your letter, but obviously realizes why not specify: the type - as you know every Sunday we go to around doing guy-or catechism - our seminarians must go to Rome tweety daily for lessons and then -)
4. the end is fine because the bank
5. Do not forget the importance of a good PS. Finally, after the signing, please use ps with a DEADLINE dlla donation ("we need it before, because our seminarians begin the school ... 'cause our seminarians begin catechism ... etc) so do a sort of "gentle pressure" that may be useful to convince the most reluctant or those who would return naturally.

Let me know your comments and see you soon!

VM

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